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I am Chanel and turned 21 on 13oct. z6 & 10girls are my loves. MJ, suppers, clubs & dramamamas are my source of entertainments. My rainbow colour is red;black;gold. &&&, i'm totally obsessed with SHOW♥羅志祥.


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my true feelins.
Friday, April 1, 2005


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;; FADED MEMORIES ;;


sumtyms i reallie wonder why we hafta fall in love. and even so...why did god made me sum1 whom can fall in luv wif sumone so easliy...but makes it so hard for me to forget tt person.. i know deep down in my hart..dere's sum1. but i juz dunno who. how i wished i knew who it was. i'm missing sum1 veh badly. i know it...coz sumtyms out of da blue i juz feel lky crying. and my heart will hurt. why cant i juz find sum1 whom reallie loves me...? when den will i mit 'my guy'...when...? i juz a simple girl who nids sum1 to be loved and pampered. i'm juz a simple who's easily touched. but why does it seems so hard for me to find 'my guy'? is he juz ard me w/o me realising it or he's at da another end of da world? i haf friends, haf family but i still feel empty. i nid sum1 to fill tis emptiness in my heart. i dun lky being alone. when i nid sum1 to tok to....every1's unavailable. onli memories are left behind. it onli fills my emptiness temporaily. those fading memories are juz lky a dream. it'll be gone within seconds. i nid a hand to hold. i nid a shoulder to lean on. when will it ever happen? or can i only haf all this in memories and dreams? then i wld rather be aslp... hais. sadness & emptiness. it's taking away all my smiles and laughter i once had. now i onli haf fwens to bring back my laughters and smiles.

*me and 'him'*
he cheated on my b4,twice. wheneva i think of it i still feel hurt. the wound is still dere. trying veh hard not to recall it animore. for now, i dun deny i dun lky him. but i dunno why i cant make myself to be back by his side. coz i noe i wld break his hart again if i do. but where is he when i nid him....

for now... i will carry on my lyfe wif these sadness and emptiness... i dunno when it will fade. but i believe one dae..sum1 will replace these sadness and emptiness... and my fading memories...i will put it back piece by piece...every single memories...no matter it's happi or sad...i will kip it deep down in my hart.

12:29 AM